Being deadlocked in short
Most people who describe their lives as deadlocked, consider themselves as being in an unwanted situation, where all ways leading out of the situation do not seem like real possibilities.
Typically it is things like the children, partner, job, money, safety, which keep us stuck in a frustrating situation. The ability to pack the suitcase, leave the house, the partner, the children and the job to travel far away, is rarely the right solution. Leaving anything is often a one-way ticket, there is no turning back.
Coaching in action – deadlock
I was contacted by a woman who felt trapped. It was as if no options for changing her situation were available, and she experienced her life as meaningless. She needed some changes but was overwhelmed by her problem, and she did not know where to start. She found herself stressed out, depressed with a total lack of energy.
We questioned if it was reasonable that she always had to help others and always had to listen to their problems without thinking about her own needs. One of the things we realized was that she needed the ability to say no to her friends, her family, her boyfriend and in other areas of her life. As she found it easy to say no at her job, we focused our efforts on transferring this ability to the other parts of her life. When she started saying no to things that she had previously undertaken without considering any other possibility, she began to regain her energy and joy. To her surprise her relationships actually improved in many of the contexts in which she began to say no. She started a positive spiral and achieved the momentum in her life that she needed.